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Psalm 55 - Betrayal and suffering.

Okay I'm jumping. This Psalm just fell into place..

Summary
v1-2 A plea to be heard
v3-5 The struggles
v6-8 Escapism
v9-11 A plea to destroy the city for its evil
v12-15 Betrayal
v16-19 He redeems my soul
v20-21 Betrayal
v22 God will sustain
v23 God's trustworthy judgement

A plea to be heard
This is another recurring opening in many Psalms written, especially in times of trouble and suffering. I suppose that we often feel God isn't listening to us when we suffer. We feel alone, we feel like God has neglected us, and we really do cry out for God to hear and answer our prayers.

Whether he does answer, though, is a different matter. In Job 1:21 it writes: Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord. I guess that God has given and God takes away as He pleases, and we truly don't have any right to complain against Him - that all this is done to His glory - therefore blessed be the name of the Lord. Tough to grasp, but I can't quite deny it.

The struggles
The author speaks of 5 things that he struggles with - anguish, terror of death, fear and trembling and horror. I think they're all pretty real emotions that we all feel as well, things we can't escape from.

Escapism
Interesting that such a worldly concept would appear here - that given the choice we would run away from our troubles. Honestly sometimes I feel I run to do this also - as if I could run and leave all these things behind me. It's a lie of course, I have to face them in the end anyway.

I think this section is really beautifully written. Shall just repeat it here.

Oh, that I had wings like a dove!
I would fly away and be at rest;
yes, I would wander far away;
I would lodge in the wilderness;
I would hurry to find a shelter from the raging wind and tempest.

And yes, that's what we do seek many times - that shelter in the wilderness away from all our cares and worries. That shelter, as we see later in this passage, is found in God.

A plea to destroy the city for its' evil
This section focuses on the evil of the city - that there is violence, strife, iniquity, trouble, oppression, fraud... A rather violent sounding and morbid city - which is truly no different from the world we live in today. We may argue that we don't see murder on the streets - but when sin is concerned all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Our city here is no less sinful than the city described.

Betrayal
I'll just write about both betrayal sections together. The twist here is that this person who has taunted the author is not an enemy - because the author is confident of bearing his enemies taunts, or hiding from them, but it is his companion, his familiar friend who took sweet counsel with him and walked in the throng in God's house. Shocking, that someone within the church, within the people of God could do this.

The question is, then, would this person be a believer or a foreigner?

I would suggest it could easily be both. We tend to believe the best of God's people, but we tend to forget that even as forgiven sinners we continue to fail and we continue to dishonor God's name in our conflicts even within the church. And evil dwells in our hearts just as it dwells in the hearts of any other person.

My wish is then that this person is an outsider - because the author wishes him death and suffering. I do wish that I would never be in this situation, and never be so tormented as to wish someone such a fate - believer or not.

Sadly the only confidence I have is that I will fail in doing so.

He redeems my soul
This section is caught between the betrayal passages. From the usual Bible writing methods this usually means that this is the key focus - and I believe it is so, that God is redeemer of the author's soul, and that the author can have full confidence in God. God is enthroned of old, and though people do not fear Him, God will hear our troubles and will judge (tbc)

God will sustain
This is probably the most comforting verse in the passage.

Cast your burden on the LORD,
and He will sustain you;
He will never permit the righteous to be moved

This is the reassurance that is given to us - that whatever burden we carry, God sustains us based on Christ's righteousness.

God's trustworthy judgement
Final verse. God will judge - simple as that. And because God will judge, we can place our trust in Him.

Takeaway
I don't really know. There's so many things. I've had a rough day, and a rough night before that, and surely another rough night tonight. Things have started to lose meaning and I'm being asked questions I'm unwilling to answer because I know my answers aren't satisfactory. I feel pressured by those I call friends - both in and out of church, and school isn't working out well either. I've lost the clarity of right and wrong - and that's a scary thought. If I can't tell what's good anymore, then how should I act?

Well. Shouldn't put up all my personal thoughts I think. I suppose the author had equally sleepless nights.

Cheers to the insomniacs out there.


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